Father's Day Humor
Celebrate Father's Day with these hilarious Father's Day humor and jokes.
Share these sweet and clean Father's Day jokes with your friends and family and make everyone laugh. In case you too know
of a Father's Day humor or have a funny father child incident to narrate please send in to us and help us enhance this comprehensive
web site on Father's Day Festival.
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Dead Sea Gull
A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son Bob ran up to him, grabbed his
hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" Bob asked. "He died
and went to Heaven," the dad replied.
Bob thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"
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Poor Preacher
After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money."
"Well,
thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?"
"Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."
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Letters between son and dad
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply
can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your
$on
The Reply:
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and
oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and
you can never study eNOugh.
Dad
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New and Improved
The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a story. From time to time, she
would take her eye's off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. By and by she was alternately stroking her own
cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke, "Granddaddy, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart" he answered, "God made
me a long time ago."
"Oh she said," then "Granddaddy, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed honey" he assured her. "God
made you just a little while ago."
"Oh" she said. Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better
at it now isn't he?"
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Penny Trick
After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room.
Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he
was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking was helping.
His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed
a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy's ear. Sammy was delighted.
In a flash, he snatched it
from his father's hand, swallowed, and then cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Dad!"
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Setting the Table
Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped set the table when guests were due for dinner. Presently
everything was on, the guest came in, and everyone sat down. Then Mother noticed something was missing.
"Susan," she
said, "You didn't put a knife and fork at Mr. Smith's place."
"I thought he wouldn't need them," explained Susan.
"Daddy
says he always eats like a horse!"
~~~~~
My Father
When I was ...
Four years old: My daddy can do anything.
Five years old: My daddy knows a whole lot.
Six years old: My dad is smarter than your dad.
Eight years old: My dad doesn't know exactly everything.
Ten years old: In the olden days, when my dad grew up, things were
sure different.
Twelve years old: Oh, well, naturally, Dad doesn't know anything
about that. He is too old to remember his childhood.
Fourteen years old: Don't pay any attention to my dad. He is so
old-fashioned.
Twenty-one years old: Him? My Lord, he's hopelessly out of date.
Twenty-five years old: Dad knows about it, but then he should,
because he has been around so long.
Thirty years old: Maybe we should ask Dad what he thinks. After
all, he's had a lot of experience.
Thirty-five years old: I'm not doing a single thing until I talk
to Dad.
Forty years old: I wonder how Dad would have handled it. He was
so wise.
Fifty years old: I'd give anything if Dad were here now so I could
talk this over with him. Too bad I didn't appreciate how smart he was. I could have learned a lot from him.
~~~~~
Personally, I think one of the greatest things about marriage is
that as both husband and father, I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.
~~~~~
"Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as
intelligent as we could fake such stupidity. Think about your father: He doesn't know where anything is. You ask him to do
something, he messes it up and your mother sends you: "Go down and see what your father's doing before he blows up the house."
He's a genius at work because he doesn't want to do it, and he knows someone will be coming soon to stop him." -- Bill Cosby
~~~~~
A company held a contest for kids with the theme: "The nicest thing
My Father Ever Did For Me." One kid answered "He married my mother."
~~~~~
In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed
a man shopping with his son. As I walked by, he checked something off his list, and I heard him whisper conspiratorially to
the child, "You know, if we really mess this up, we'll never have to do it again."
